Welcome to the Roast

You left 17 bench points untouched like they were decorative. Gomez sat there with 6 while your starters scraped 48 and asked for mercy. That was not squad depth. That was a waiting room.

You punted on Hinshelwood and got 16, which is the sort of hit that makes safer managers look like they picked their team in a fog. The rest of the league was hunting comfort. You found a knife.

You played bench boost and got 4. Four. That is not a chip. That is a cry for help with a spreadsheet attached.

You topped the week with 77 and still somehow made bench boost look like a tax return. De Cuyper’s 17 rotted while your XI did the work, so the chip gave you a headline and then tried to steal your lunch.

You’re top with 80 and a three-point cushion, which is exactly the kind of lead that makes everyone else start lying to themselves. The bench boost worked, the differential hit, and the rest of the league is now chasing your shadow with a broken torch.