The Creator Chaos League

Ah, the usual Haaland captain brigade clocked a safe 12 points—yawn, real edge-of-your-seat stuff. Meanwhile, Ben Crellin parked his defense so deep they scored more than half the league’s starters—turning a modest 33 into a smug 72. Az Phillips and Pras United thought swapping Lacroix’s 8 for Tarkowski’s 4 was a masterstroke; spoiler—they’re now starring in the relegation drama no one asked for. And Kelleher, the league’s most ignored high scorer, racked up 13 points like a stealthy ninja while everyone else followed the herd off a cliff. Oscar and Harry Daniels duked it out Arsenal vs Chelsea style, but even top dogs can’t avoid faceplants when the transfer circus hits town.

Welcome to the Captain Collapse Festival, starring Haaland—leading the charge with a grand total of 4 points, proving once again that popularity contests ruin everything. Gabriel, the most transferred-in player, actually bothered to show up with 9 points, but the league average still limped in at a sad 52. Meanwhile, Harry Daniels’ differential hero Rice racked up 17 points, schooling the safe Haaland captainers in a masterclass of mediocrity. Abdul Rehman’s 33 points at the bottom scream, “Even captaining the popular kid won’t save your sorry behind.” And Az Phillips? Bottom of the league but hauling 69 points—proof that sometimes brilliance just loves to troll the table. Cheers to that chaos.

Ah, the new year opener—a festival of captain disasters. Haaland, the “safe” pick, coughs up a pathetic 4 points, proving some folks still believe in fairy tales. The league average chugs along at 43, about as exciting as watching paint dry. Oscar and Harry Daniels, locked in a thrilling battle of who can flub Haaland worse, but Harry’s Saka gamble tanks him a juicy 7 points, while Trossard laughs all the way to 13. Meanwhile, Andy LTFPL’s differential wonder Gabriel racks up 15 points, smashing the weekly high and stretching his lead like a boss. Oscar’s bench? A rotting 18-point corpse, perfectly matching his limp 40—like a ghost haunting his own team. Get a grip, or just hand Andy the crown now.

Oh, Haaland, the golden boy, managed a grand total of 4 points with 91% of you clinging to his armband like it’s a lifebuoy—newsflash, it’s sinking. Meanwhile, Andy LTFPL laughed at your safe bets and took a cheeky Wirtz punt for 10 points, cruising 4 clear while you all stayed glued to the usual has-beens. Oscar, bless him, rode the bandwagon straight off a cliff, picking E.Le Fée for 2 points while ignoring Adingra’s 10, and then left 16 bench points to rot like forgotten leftovers. Down at the bottom, Az Phillips pulled 55 with Ekitiké as captain—proof that sometimes the rebel wins while you’re busy playing it safe like sheep.

Ah, captaincy chaos? More like a comedy of errors starring Haaland, who grabbed all the armbands but somehow left the leaderboard as exciting as a wet weekend. Oscar’s clinging to the top by a measly 3 points over Andy LTFPL—both riding Haaland’s 32-point double captain like it’s a magic carpet, while everyone else trips over their own shoelaces. Then there’s FPL Pickle, scoring 60 points but still losing to his bench—because apparently, even Haaland can’t save you from your own managerial dumpster fire. Meanwhile, Semenyo’s punt made Az Phillips cry into his Rice sale, as FPL Mate -Dan- quietly scooped the triple captain glory. Arsenal vs Chelsea drama? Oscar and Harry Daniels duking it out with Harry’s 48 points still not enough to catch Oscar’s 72. Comedy gold.

Five free transfers and still managed to mess it up—impressive chaos, folks. Oscar’s 85 points look good until you realize Timber was a ghost and only Saka saved his sorry captain pick. FPL Pickle dared to start Wilson and got 16 points—meanwhile, the rest of you were too scared to try. Harry Daniels picked Semenyo over Tavernier and just casually left 6 points on the bench, thanks for nothing. Az Phillips selling Calvert-Lewin for zero points on Marc Guiu? Peak transfer whiplash energy right there. Everyone backed Saka captain, but only the bold transfer gamblers actually won.

Haaland pulls the ultimate ghost move AGAIN, dragging the captaincy average into the gutter with a pathetic 2 points—like a punchline that just won’t land! Foden’s out here torching the fools who finally jumped on his bandwagon, and Oscar’s Free Hit? A glorious dumpster fire with 24 points lost because Arsenal decided to choke late and City’s creeping like a damn shadow in the title race. Liverpool’s stubbing their toes with Salah benched, sparking those dreaded transfer whispers, while Bruno Fernandes—yeah, the “defensive mid”—is out here hauling like a madman. Down below, Az Phillips’ bench turned into a graveyard with 17 wasted points, sealing the league’s lowest score. Andy LTFPL’s Dewsbury-Hall punt? A cheeky 16-point middle finger to Oscar’s misery. Mic drop, I’m done.

Haaland finally wakes up and smacks the Bruno captains square in the ego—looks like their armbands were just fancy wristbands. Andy LTFPL’s safe Bruno pick limped to 8 points; safe? More like snooze fest. Meanwhile, Harry Daniels and Az Phillips rode Haaland’s 28-point wave like pros while the rest flailed. Foden drops 17 points, ignored by 90%—proof that playing it safe is the influencer’s biggest blunder. Ben Crellin’s Free Hit nearly dazzled but got outscored by his own bench—talk about benching brilliance. And Arsenal vs Chelsea? Oscar’s 22-point lead over Harry Daniels makes that rivalry look like a schoolyard scrap.

Every single muppet captainced Haaland like he was Messi, then he chucked a 4-pointer and made Free Hit look like a Free Sh*t. Andy LTFPL’s still clinging to his lead with a meh 76, while the bench looked like a ghost town—subs scoring less than my nan’s bingo luck. Thiago, the king of transfers, dropped 13 points, yet vice-caps and benchies like Andersen outscored half the starters—template traps biting harder than a dodgy kebab. FPL Pickle’s Free Hit was a total dumpster fire at 44, and Ben Crellin’s Thiago gamble mixed with Schade’s pain train proves FPL is just Russian roulette with transfers.

Look at this captaincy circus—Haaland’s leading the pack with a whopping 4 points. That’s not a haul, it’s a cry for help, dragging the average captain score down to a pathetic 3. Oscar’s clinging to the top with a 10-point gap, but his Haaland armband flop keeps Andy LTFPL breathing down his neck, thanks to Dewsbury-Hall’s lucky 13 points auto-sub. Then there’s Az Phillips, who turned a cheeky 14-point bench boost into a measly 7—congratulations, you just dug yourself a basement suite. Harry Daniels backed Saka but completely ghosted Eze’s 20-point blinder, missing a 16-point swing. And Pras United? Swapping Enzo for B. Fernandes and losing 9 points—talk about transfer brain farts. This league’s a mess, and you’re all just making it worse.

Haaland’s captaincy gave us an 8-point snooze fest—modest fireworks, mate, more like a damp squib. Oscar’s differential Thiago punt scored 13, leaving the rest flapping about Mateta’s 2 points like headless chickens. FPL Raptor’s Bench Boost? A bench apocalypse with 6 points when 15 were expected—chip usage or self-sabotage? Harry Daniels scraped 36 points despite Chelsea’s 3-0 win—proof even fav clubs can’t save your captain disaster. Andy LTFPL’s Villa smashed 4-0 but still trailed Oscar by 11—quietly cruising with 54, Oscar’s the one laughing at the bar.

Haaland’s 26-point haul had everyone parroting like it’s the latest TikTok craze—originality clearly not in fashion. Oscar and Harry Daniels hit 90, but Andy LTFPL’s defense nearly snatched the gap despite Villa getting dunked 0-2 by Liverpool. FPL Pickle’s bench was a morgue, with Xhaka’s 10 points wasted while starters barely beat the bench’s 16. Ben Crellin’s Minteh punt scored 9, but FPL Raptor’s Sarr over Lerma move? A 7-point blunder—proof even the so-called experts can trip over their own hype.

Everyone bet big on Haaland captaincy and got 4 points. Genius move, truly. Oscar, Andy LTFPL, and Harry Daniels all scored 52 but still couldn’t dodge that mediocre armband curse. Meanwhile, FPL Raptor’s bench was a graveyard with 15 points wasted—brilliant strategy if you hate points. Az Phillips picking Gudmundsson over Rodon gave Harry Daniels a free 12-point gift. Title race or transfer disaster? You decide.

Haaland’s 26 points had everyone copying like it’s the latest cringe TikTok dance—originality’s dead, lads. Andy LTFPL’s safe 67 points and Villa win kept him top, but his bench chilling with 12 points unused? Might as well have benched a potato. Oscar and Dan flexed their Bench Boosts for 96 and 85, turning their benches into the real MVPs while the rest just stood there like deer in headlights. And then there’s Az Phillips, scoring 60 with a bench so useless it’s basically a participation trophy—20 points behind and sinking fast in the relegation mud. Oof.

Ah, the Creator Chaos League—more like Creator Confusion, am I right? Everyone threw their chips on Haaland like he’s the messiah, only to realize midweek that midfield was where the real party was—Andy LTFPL’s Gabriel move looking smarter than your average FPL brain surgeon. Abdul Rehman and Az Phillips handing out points like they’re Oprah—“You get Gordon, you get Gordon!” Meanwhile, Ben Crellin’s Bench Boost was less boost, more bench burial. Oscar’s Gvardiol haul? A 12-point mic drop that left the rest looking like they forgot to show up. And Pras United? 51 points proves even the Haaland hype train can crash spectacularly. Welcome to the league, where bad calls get roasted and no one’s safe.

Haaland got more love than a free pint on quiz night, every influencer triple-capping him like it’s the only play in the pub. Andy LTFPL’s leading, but swapping Reijnders for Doku? Mate, even the king trips over his own shoelaces. Oscar and FPL Raptor wild-carded like pros but got roasted by Stach’s cameo—Longstaff just sniggered from the bar stool. And FPL Mate-Dan’s 24-point bench? Looks more like a graveyard than a team. Next round, bring better luck or bring a pint, because that’s looking rough.

Four Bench Boosts dropped like it’s a Black Friday sale and everyone’s still glued to Salah like he’s the WiFi password. Andy LTFPL turned Villa’s boring 1-1 snoozefest into a 66-point flex and stretched his lead like he’s got monopoly money. Meanwhile, Az Phillips flopped harder than my Monday motivation with just 31 points—Salah armband and all, still got wrecked. Abdul Rehman's Bench Boost limped in with 8 points, basically turning his chip into a participation trophy. And Ben Crellin? Just vibing with 62 points thanks to Stach, the league’s most slept-on legend, plus a lucky autosub—legendary chaos or just pure luck? Either way, stop copying the herd, it’s killing dreams faster than your autocorrect.

Salah captain? More like half the league left on read. Andy LTFPL’s 78 points wildcard flex? Safety first, haters. Villa’s 0-0 snoozefest? Mood killer. Pras United’s bench: a 25-point graveyard. Starters limping like they lost a pub fight. Oscar’s 67 points riding Arsenal’s 3-0 wave? Still can’t catch Andy’s throne. Van de Ven’s 14-point differential? Bold move, ignored and roasted. FPL drama never sleeps.

Ah, captain chaos, the only thing more predictable than Bruno Fernandes scoring 20 points this week. Meanwhile, Gianni Buttice and Az Phillips thought flopping Cunha and Gibbs-White was a bright idea—spoiler, it wasn’t. FPL Mate -Dan- flexed a casual 74 points, stretching his lead over Harry Daniels, who also backed Bruno but still couldn’t close the gap—nice try, mate. Gianni’s bench apocalypse was so bad, he left Dewsbury-Hall’s 12 points collecting dust while his captain barely showed up—brilliant strategy if you want to lose. Andy LTFPL, on the other hand, let luck do the heavy lifting with Dewsbury-Hall’s 12 points and scored 64—proof that sometimes brains just get in the way. Meanwhile, Oscar’s last-minute Gakpo-Szoboszlai swap cost him 10 points, dragging him below average—timing’s everything, isn’t it? And Az Phillips? Bottom of the league despite Brighton beating Man City—guess even miracles can’t save bad captain picks.

Captaincy chaos? More like Salah’s assist was the soggy chip no one wanted. Gianni Buttice turned his bench into a goldmine—62 points while Harry Daniels barely kept up with 53. Harry and Az are neck and neck chasing Gianni, who’s laughing eight points ahead. Down the pit, Andy LTFPL and FPL Raptor are flapping around with sub-45 scores, like pub teams on a bad night. Meanwhile, 73% went all in on Salah captaincy, leaving Ben Crellin crying over a 10-point vice captain flop. Pras United’s bench was a ghost town, and FPL Pickle’s 35 points prove riding Salah solo is a rookie move.

Oi, everyone jumped on Salah like he was the last slice of pizza, but captaincy madness barely nudged the leaderboard—like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. Abdul Rehman’s lead is shakier than my Wi-Fi, just 2 points ahead of Oscar who’s lurking after Arsenal smashed Man Utd. Meanwhile, Az Phillips is out here benching 10 points and flexing Aït-Nouri’s 9 like a true mad lad ignoring the herd—peak chaos energy. And poor Andy LTFPL, stubbornly clinging to Salah captaincy, still bottoms out 8 points below average despite Villa not losing—no chips, no flair, just copy-paste despair. The title race? More knife-edge than runaway, mate, brace yourselves.