Welcome to the Roast

You Bench Boosted like you were fishing for points but reeled in half the catch with only 7 from an expected 14. That chip was supposed to be your rocket, but it turned into a slow crawl straight to the league basement. Next time, maybe don’t boost the bench if the starters are already carrying the team.

Your autosub was the real MVP, Dewsbury-Hall’s 13 points bailed out a captain who barely chipped in. One swap, thirteen points, and a lifeline to keep the title chase breathing. Luck or genius? Either way, you took full advantage of the chaos.

Selling Enzo for B.Fernandes was like trading a Ferrari for a tricycle - a brutal 9-point net loss. That transfer perfectly sums up the transfer whiplash torment this week. Next time, try not to repel points with your moves.

Your bench scored 14 points but you left them all on the sidelines like a forgotten sub. Tarkowski’s 8 points were a bench highlight while your starters just matched the total 60 points. That’s a classic bench fail in a week where every point counts.

Muñoz’s 14 points from just 9% ownership was the differential dagger that kept your lead sharp. While Haaland flopped, your differential pick sliced through the chaos to deliver a top haul. That’s how you stay top dog in a week full of captain collapses.

Backing Arsenal to haul but picking Saka over Eze cost you a painful 16 points swing. You nailed the team but fumbled the player choice, turning a potential big haul into a mid-table shuffle. Next time, trust the underdog differential instead of the obvious star.

You scored the highest points in the league with 61 but still sit rock bottom - talk about a cruel twist. Your 4-point captain Saka and bench boost chaos made that haul feel like a consolation prize. At least you proved you can haul, just not when it counts.

You hold the top spot with a 10-point cushion despite Haaland’s captain flop. That Muñoz differential and steady scoring keep you ahead while the title race tightens. Keep holding on - the chaos is far from over.