Welcome to the Roast

You nailed the differential with Foden’s 17 points while the rest of the league snoozed. Ignoring a low-ownership gem in a sea of Bruno captains is the kind of maverick move that separates content creators from content consumers.

Backing Arsenal’s defense was smart, but Timber’s 1 point instead of White’s 14 screams missed opportunity. Next time, don’t just back the right team, back the right player or prepare for a brutal 13-point roast.

Your bench scored 13 points, more than a quarter of your total, and you left it all to rot. Calvert-Lewin’s 9 points on the pine is a bench apocalypse moment you’ll want to forget fast.

Your transfer timing was sharp, netting 13 points despite a 4-point hit. Foden’s haul rewarded your guts while the rest paid for playing it safe.

Going contrarian with Haaland paid off big with 28 points, smashing the 8-point Bruno crowd. You turned captain chaos into captain glory while most influencers flopped.

You’re carrying the league’s lowest score with a meek 45, all while Bruno captaincy barely moved the needle. Bench points of 2 and a favorite team draw didn’t help your case—this week was a masterclass in underwhelming.

You smashed the weekly high with 79 points on a Free Hit that almost paid off. Still, leaving 6 points on the bench shows even the best influencers can’t escape the chaos.

You held the top spot with 57 points but your Bruno captain only chipped in 8, a fragile lead in a week ruled by Haaland’s haul. Your Aston Villa’s 4-3 thriller was more entertaining than your FPL score, and the rivals are breathing down your neck.