Welcome to the Roast

You jumped on Thiago’s bandwagon and got a 2-point participation trophy while others raked in 50. Following the hype train doesn’t look so clever when you’re left waving at the winners from the station.

Foden in, zero hits, and a sweet 9-point net gain? That’s how you eat the herd’s lunch. While others floundered with Haaland’s blanks, you rode the City wave straight to Manager of the Week.

Selling Senesi for Hincapie and losing 5 points is the kind of transfer that haunts your dreams. You literally shipped points for blanks and still wonder why your rank isn’t climbing.

Dewsbury-Hall at 16 points with just 9% ownership? That’s a differential punt done right. While the captaincy circus flopped, you quietly stacked points and kept the title race spicy.

You scored 40 but left 17 points rotting on the bench like leftovers nobody wants. That’s a bench apocalypse so bad it’s a wonder you didn’t bench the entire starting XI next.

You crushed the week with 62 points and zero hits, proving patience beats panic in the influencer chaos. While Arsenal stumbled and Haaland flopped, your Foden pick was a masterclass in transfer timing.

Leading with a Free Hit and a 68-point haul despite Arsenal’s late collapse? That’s walking a tightrope with no net. Your stubborn Haaland captaincy cost you 24 points versus vice Bruno, but you still hold the lead—fragile but fierce.