Welcome to the Roast

You sold Rice for Semenyo and lost a point in the process—talk about trading gold for glitter. Semenyo’s 10 points were cute but Rice’s 11 was the safe bet you abandoned for content over returns. That’s a textbook points repellent move, perfect for a league full of influencers pretending punts are strategy.

Sixty points with Haaland scoring 32? Your bench’s 11 points might as well have been a second starting XI. You managed to bench outscore your starters and still landed the lowest score—congratulations on the bench apocalypse. Even your Aston Villa win couldn’t lift you out of this self-inflicted hole.

Collins with 8 points off the radar while everyone else chased the herd? That’s the differential sting. You turned a low-ownership gamble into a 92-point haul that left the template clingers eating dust. Triple captain Haaland was the cherry, but that Collins punt was the real mic drop.

Bringing in Semenyo without a hit and banking 10 points? That’s how you punish the herd’s copycat chaos. While others lost points selling Rice, you quietly pocketed a net gain and laughed all the way to the green arrow. Transfer timing nailed it, no drama needed.

92 points and a triple captain haul put you top of the league’s chaos mountain this week. You didn’t just ride Haaland, you owned the gameweek while others flailed in captaincy confusion. No rank gain but a solid gap to the next rival—content gold and points gold.

Leading with 1098 points and a 3-point cushion is clutch, but your 72 points show the pressure is real. Arsenal’s 1-0 win keeps your favourite club happy, but Harry Daniels’ triple captain Haaland lurks just behind. Stay steady, the title race is a knife-edge with Andy LTFPL breathing down your neck.