Welcome to the Roast

You turned your bench into a points graveyard with 16 points left unused while your starters limped to 36. Dúbravka’s 11 points on the bench screamed for a start but you ghosted him like a bad date. That’s not just bench fail, that’s bench betrayal in a title race.

You managed the lowest haul with 33 points while the rest of the league laughed at your Haaland captain with a 4-point return. Following eight bandwagoners on Cunha for 2 points didn’t help your cause either. Looks like safe captaincy and copycat punts are not your friends this week.

Eight managers jumped on Cunha and got burnt for 2 points, but you led the charge into the flames. Nothing screams influencer fail like following the hype train straight off a cliff. At least you were consistent with your captain disaster.

You nailed the differential pick with Wirtz scoring 10 points while the herd struggled with Haaland’s 4. That 10-point differential was the difference between leading the league and just blending in. Smart, stubborn, and just ruthless enough to ignore the copycat chaos.

Backing E.Le Fée over Adingra cost you 8 points, a rookie move in a league of experts. You backed the right team to haul but picked the wrong player, turning a potential boost into a shrug. Next time, try picking the actual winner, not just the content.

You timed your transfers like a sniper, netting 13 points without a hit thanks to Wirtz’s 10. While others copied the herd, you found value in the shadows and it’s paying off in league leadership. Keep pulling these moves and the title’s looking less like a dream.

Selling Semenyo who scored 9 and buying Gordon who managed 2 is pure points repellent. You actively shipped points out for blanks, a bold strategy to lose ground fast. Next time, maybe check who’s actually scoring before hitting that transfer button.

You smashed the league with 55 points, proving contrarian captaincy on Ekitiké can pay off big. While the favourites faltered, you rode the outsider wave to a green arrow streak and top haul. Keep dancing to your own tune and watch the influencers scramble behind you.

Leading the league by 4 points with a modest 43 this week shows you’re steady while others panic. Villa’s 2-1 win over Chelsea was the cherry on top for your stubborn, on-brand template. Pressure’s on but you’re handling it better than most with a red arrow streak to shake off.