Welcome to the Roast

You got lucky with Alderete’s 8 points auto-sub rescue, turning a bench dud into a brief moment of redemption. One swap saved you from a deeper bench apocalypse, but don’t get used to this kind of autosub charity.

You left 18 points to rot on the bench while your starters limped to 40. Mukiele’s 11 points on the pine is a brutal reminder that your bench was the real star of the show. Safe captain Haaland didn’t bail you out, but your bench fail definitely did the heavy lifting.

You nailed the differential hit with Gabriel’s 15 points, a low-ownership diamond that left the herd in the dust. That 60-point haul didn’t just win the week, it widened your league lead to a comfy 24 points. While others clung to safe picks, you showed how to turn bold moves into pure FPL gold.

You barely scraped 38 points, falling 2 below the league average despite captaining the most popular pick Haaland. Your bench chipped in 10 points but that was just a sad sideshow to a painfully low haul. Safe choices didn’t save you this week, and your rank is paying the price.

You timed the Gabriel transfer perfectly, netting 17 points without a single hit. While others copied safe picks, your move crushed the herd and boosted your green arrow streak. That’s how you turn transfer savvy into league domination.

Backing Arsenal to haul was smart, but picking Saka over Trossard cost you a painful 7 points. That’s the difference between content-driven punts and actual points on the board. Next time, let the numbers do the talking before you flex your transfer drama.

Starting an injured Richards and relying on a 4-point Anderson auto-sub screams sleepwalking through your lineup. You dodged a bigger disaster, but this was a textbook injury blunder from an influencer who should know better.

You grabbed the Manager of the Week crown with a solid 45 points, steady as Man Utd’s 1-1 draw. No flashy moves, just consistent returns that keep you climbing while rivals stumble. A quiet flex that reminds us all sometimes steady wins the race.

Leading the league with 1205 points and a 24-point gap, you’re the definition of top dog despite Aston Villa’s 1-4 loss. Your 60-point haul this week was a statement that safe captaincy and herd moves won’t cut it. Keep punishing the pack and watch that lead grow.