Welcome to the Roast

You timed that James transfer like a sniper, netting 6 points and zero hits while the herd twiddled thumbs. Selling Lacroix for James? That's a transfer win that stings the copycats who stuck to the script. Zero hits, seven net gain, and a starter delivering – you made the template look like yesterday’s news.

You bought Rogers expecting fireworks and got a damp squib with 2 points – talk about a jinxed pick. While the league soaked up Haaland assists, your gamble fizzled faster than your bench points could bail you out. That’s the kind of punt that makes you question if you’re influencing or just being influenced by bad luck.

Bench points of 21 and starters stuck on 35? You left a mini team to rot while your starters barely scraped by. Wilson’s 8 points on the bench could’ve been the difference between cringe and green arrows. This isn’t bench boosting glory, it’s bench neglect in influencer league prime time.

Holding Strand Larsen for 11 days only to sell him for a 2-point replacement? That’s a one-night stand with zero afterglow. You rode the wave too long and got dumped just as the herd moved on to safer shores. Timing is everything, and you missed the memo while others banked the points.

You nailed the captain pick with a 63-point haul, riding Haaland’s assist like a pro while Arsenal smashed Spurs 4-1 to rub salt in the rivalry wounds. No hits, no drama, just pure influencer finesse keeping you second but breathing down the leader’s neck. Safe, steady, and deadly – you made the chaos look like a warm-up.

Leading the league with 1698 points and a 41-point gap, you showed that steady Haaland captaincy and Man Utd’s narrow win is the recipe for top dog status. Your 57 points this week kept rivals at bay but showed the pressure’s on – one slip and the chaos catches you. Bench points left unused, but why fix what’s winning? Keep that grip tight.