Welcome to the Roast

You took the Haaland captain train straight to 41 points and a league low. Ignoring Gabriel’s 11 points and vice Fernandes’ 8 was a brutal oversight for the man sitting second in the league. Congrats on turning a winning Arsenal night into a personal disaster with a bench that barely chipped in.

Your autosub luck bailed you out with 23 unexpected points, thanks to Anderson’s 12 off the bench. That’s what happens when your captain Haaland flops but your bench steps up quietly. Keep riding that lucky streak while your favorite Man Utd keeps losing.

Brilliant timing on Dewsbury-Hall, netting you 9 points with zero hits and a price rise to boot. You punished the herd’s blind Haaland worship with a transfer that actually scored. This is how you make moves in a league full of copycats.

You went full contrarian with Bruno Fernandes captaincy and doubled down on bonus points for 16 total. While 73% of the league was stuck on Haaland’s 4 points, you laughed all the way to the top scorer spot. Galaxy brain indeed, especially in a week where the safe pick was anything but.

You left 25 points on the bench, including Anderson’s 12, while your starters limped to 56. Bench apocalypse alert: your bench was a goldmine you refused to mine. Next time, start digging before you dig your own grave.

You crushed the week with 80 points, outscoring the field by 19 points and proving maverick moves pay off. Your favorite Brighton lost, but your FPL haul was a win that silenced the herd. Keep that green arrow streak alive while others drown in captain chaos.

Still top dog with 1835 points and a 64-point lead, even with a captain flop and a Man Utd loss. You’re the steady hand in a league full of chaos, but don’t get too comfy with that vice captain outscoring your armband. Pressure’s on, but you’re handling it better than most.