Welcome to the Roast

Chip Funeral belongs to Oscar - — Wildcard landed 40 — 40 vs 49 league average; last week’s XI would have matched or beaten it (42 vs 40).

You left 14 bench points to rot and still called it a good week. That is not squad depth, that is a storage unit with studs in it. Kinsky sat there with 6 while your starters scraped 53 and your wildcard did the emotional support work. That bench was a funeral in trainers.

You sold Mbeumo for Cherki and watched 5 points evaporate on contact. That is not a transfer, that is a refund request with studs. Top of the league and still making moves like you were trying to lose the crown by lunchtime.

You backed Isak and got 13 while the crowd kept staring at the same shiny captain. That is how you steal points without begging for applause. The upside was real, the nerve was better, and the rest of the league spent the week pretending they meant to ignore him.

You posted 57 and still found a way to make the bench look lazy. Kinsky’s 6 rotted while your XI did the actual work. Konsa over Rodon paid off, which is nice, because this week rewarded the rare manager who picked a player instead of a mood.

You are top by one point and your reward is a Cherki-shaped headache. That is a throne built on a transfer that lost ground immediately. Haaland bailed you out, but the margin is so thin it looks like it was cut with a butter knife.