Welcome to the Roast

You got saved by Andersen’s 7 points on the bench, the only thing rescuing your week from total bench apocalypse. One autosub swap and suddenly you’re not bottom of the barrel – luck, not skill, carried you here.

Starting Muñoz injured and benching Gudmundsson for -2? That’s not sleepwalking, that’s sleep-diving off a cliff. Your bench barely saved you from a worse disaster, but the damage was done before kickoff.

Szoboszlai at 11 points while the herd captain Salah flopped? You played the silent assassin and it paid off big time. 71 points and no rank gain? Even the chaos couldn’t shake your steady climb.

Ekitiké captaincy for 2 points while Bruno was doubling up on 10? That’s a captain fail so loud it echoes through the league. You went full contrarian and got smacked with an 18-point captain delta – brutal timing.

22 points left to rot on the bench while your starters managed just 67 – that’s a bench fail worthy of a highlight reel. Rodon’s 8 points could’ve made a difference, but you left him to rot and paid the price.

Backing Salah over Szoboszlai cost you 10 points and a chance to flex on the herd. You nailed the team but picked the wrong player to haul – next time, don’t let the brand fool you.

71 points and a haul against Chelsea’s misery – you took advantage while others drowned in captain chaos. No green arrow gain but a 9-point gap to next shows you’re quietly climbing while the rest implode.

Leading with 1889 points but still stuck with a Salah captain flop – your lead’s safe but your choices scream caution. A 3-1 Man Utd win helped, but your vice captain Bruno was the real MVP while your armband looked lost.