Welcome to the Roast

You timed that Rodon transfer like a sniper in a sniper war – 13 points and a 14-point net gain with zero hits. While others fiddled with safe picks, you pocketed the points that kept you glued to the title fight. That’s how you make the herd look like they’re chasing shadows.

Saka for 3 points? That’s not a punt, that’s a jinx tattooed on your team sheet. You bought the hype, but the returns barely paid for a coffee. At least you can say you’re consistent in catching the cold side of Arsenal’s form.

Bench points 15, starters 35 – you basically played a 6-a-side with your bench as the crowd. Rodon’s 13 points sat unused while you limped home with the league’s lowest score. Next time, maybe start the players instead of just collecting bench fodder trophies.

Backing Gudmundsson over Rodon cost you 12 points and a spot out of the relegation scrap. You sniffed the right team but picked the wrong player – it’s like bringing a butter knife to a gunfight. Keep the faith, but maybe check the scores before you click confirm next time.

52 points and no green arrow? That’s the kind of cruel irony reserved for title chasers. You nailed the transfers but still can’t shake Andy LTFPL’s shadow. At least you’re proving that smart moves beat safe captains in this chaos league.

Leading with 549 points and a 5-point gap feels like holding a wet paper crown in this tight title race. Your Arsenal win gave you a boost, but Haaland’s 4-point captain haul keeps the throne shaky. Stay stubborn, because the challengers are breathing down your neck with every mediocre week.